'All Things to All People'

Godma Ann's eulogy


There are many things I want to say…

But I do want to say first that I am Jon’s godmother. I am also, thank God and my lucky stars, Zane and Summer’s godmother too. I love all these three, equally and shamelessly…I have often thought how unfair this situation is. I mean, Agnes (and Peter) chose me, but Jon, Zane and Summer never had any choice in the matter. They did though have choice with Godma Hanim. So we stand here before you as ‘Godma Appointed’ and ‘Godma Democratically Elected’!

But what does Godmother mean in this day and age? Jon asked me once when he was much younger, and I told him I was responsible to help in his religious upbringing (not that I am particularly well-qualified) but that this was a traditional role. In my mind, my job is to keep any eye out on them, and be there as and when needed. ‘So you’re like a standby Mum’, said Jon, and then he added, ‘but I don't think a true Mum can be just standby’.

Like many of you, I was often surprised by how bright Jon was. In every sense of the word… I know he reads a lot, but we never really got beyond ‘so how boring was school today’ until comparatively recently. We could talk music, soccer, politics and even girls…

It is something very special and unique to have the love and trust of a 15 or 16-year old boy. I mean, a boy is in the thick of challenges at that time. Especially Jon – that is, he was my glimpse into what can make a man at that time. I remember many things about him, like the challenge of going from Kuan Cheng (where to me he was the geeky prefect dude) to VI when he had to prove himself again and in so doing strike the fire to see for himself what kind of man he was.

I miss his SMS messages, just asking what I was up to, and to call him because he was bored, or because he just wanted to hear my voice, or what I thought of a song he’d just downloaded.

Sometimes, I didn't know how to talk with him because he was such a strange and delightful creature – I mean, to me, a 16 year old boy has better things to do than talk to his Godma and see how she’s doing. But that was Jon.

Of course, what occurs to me now, having heard all this beautiful testimony, is how this boy managed to be ‘all things to all people’…he has managed to charm us, so charm us so that in this season of grief we have so much, so many memories to help us weather this time.

I want to thank the family Gan and the family Liew for this wonderful position of Godma. I recommend it – you get to breeze in and out, bearing gifts, not there for the regular rigour and tedium of each day, but you get showered with love and affection.

I am here and I thank God for Jon, and so many things I am unable to speak of right now. I am also here for his brother and sister too.

To my dear godson who was all things to all people…May you just fly, my darling. And see you later, insyallah.