Of Friendships

"Excuse me mam, are you Jon's mum?"

This young shop assistant asked when I was at FOS, Bangsar Village. When I said I was, he introduced himself as Lam who was Jon's classmate in Form 1. He said Jon was 'famous' from the first day as everyone heard and was curious to know who this boy was who went to Old Trafford for football training, who met the stars of the famous MU team. That my son was 'unique' as he knew everybody in school from the juniors to the seniors, and that he was fun to be with. "I cannot forget him, auntie. He was unique."

Later Lam apologized for being carried away with talks about Jon thinking that I might not want to talk about something so painful. I assured him that it was really okay and that talking about Jon would not be painful in any was. "Having Jon, loosing Jon is part of me. My total package." I said. We parted with me giving him my number and a promise to meet sometime soon for lunch before he starts college next month.

(Lum, promised to pass me Richard's, another of Jon's friend, email address.)

As I left, I felt really good and was touched by this young man's eagerness to share of his friendship with Jon. This chance meeting jolted my memory of Jon's other friends. Sweet, sweeet friends.

Last August, I was invited by Jon's friends to attend the First KL Scouts Campfire. I know that it would be my last visit to Jon's old school. There are some things I still cannot do, and going back to his school is one of them. I guess Jon's friends (Danial, KA, Mubin and Zao, not sure who else) sort of understood this in a way which is unspoken as they consistently sent me reminders of the event. I was moved and I know that I just have to be there.

As much as it would be my last visit, it would also be the last campfire for Jon and his friends. Being seniors they also get to be in the final act, which is also the highlight for the evening. This is one act, I know that Jon and his friends look forward to and dying to do, for the longest time.

I just have to be there.

When the day came, several more reminders were received. Mubin's mum, Liza even called to offer to pick me up (and later confided that she was asked to do it to make sure I be there) but I declined deciding that it will be better if I do this alone.

To say that the drive there was not easy is an understatement but I managed and settle to sit with Liza and Teach. The program format for the evening was left in tact with the only difference being the fire. For the first time, they were allowed a real one burning with logs and all. It was a big, real and hot!


The evening unfolded with skits, songs, marching, shouts, introductions, speeches, etc leading to the final act. Danial, Mubin, KA, Zao and the rest scaled walls with their bare hands and feet, and ropes. They ran. They jumped. They fell. They gave their all. And they did it with passion and confidence. They were exacting as if they knew exactly which brick they would hold, which spot they would fall on. They were good, if not the best I've seen.

As much as I enjoyed it, the experience also filled me. I felt that Jon was among them. I felt him there. I felt him proud.

It was too much for me. I couldn't stay any more. I left, tearfully

The other 'meeting' was a sweet one when Danial, KA, Mubin, Zao and Haiqal came to have dinner with us on December 28th. Unlike the other gathering this one was initiated by the boys. The evening was wonderful. We had olio which was grandly prepared by Mubin, and I did lasagne, salad and garlic bread. We ate, we talked. We laughed. Dreams were shared of what the future might be, and it ranged from business studies, finance, aerospace, cullinary to being an airline pilot. And I shared the plan to go back to work. Each of them has grown into such fine, handsome young gentlemen. Confident and strong.

Surprisingly there were no moments of awkwardness. The evening just went on smoothly and soon enough, like all good times, it came to an end at midnight. Although I must say both sides worked at making it such sweet evening. It's hard to explain why eventhough Jon's physical absence was obvious. I guess he was there after all as I felt like it was one of those rides that I gave him and his friends from school. It felt natural.Warm. Friendship.

The Gans were touched. Touched by their simple gesture of remembering us even when Jon is not with us. Touched by their friendship, and knowing just how much Jon must have meant for them.

Who knows what the future holds. We meet today, we may not meet again tomorrow. To me what matters is not what tomorrow brings but what we could do today.

As I get on with my life, I know I will be continue to bump into Jon's friends, somehow, and conversations, no matter how short or long, will flow.

Even as Jon is not with me now here, I know that each time I meet his friends, each time I know I will see Jon, living through them.

Thank you guys. Thank you for the memories. We will be in touch, one way or the other.

Have a great year and many more to come. Live, enjoy!