3 years later...

On a beautiful August 9th Sunday morning, we released 16 diamond + 3 white doves to commemorate Jon's 3rd. Now that we are living in an area which is surrounded by greens, the birds just flew away, unlike previous years. However, in the last week, one of the whites has been making appearances around the garden and I felt that there was a difference. Unlike previous years where one or two white doves used to hang around for days, seemed lost against the city skyline, this one seemed unperturbed by me and even Eleanor, Jon's pet golden retriever. It seems like this little fella just want to chill and hang out in the lush surroundings.

Well, there are other differences as well.

Today for the first time in 3 years, I feel I've truly found peace and my heart just filled with happiness when the birds were released. It is not that I am no longer sad but somehow I've managed to hold this sadness within my space of happiness. And to me, this is a breakthrough and it makes me feel totally liberated. I thank God for this blessings and Jon's 3rd is truly a celebration for me.

This is my truth. That when one expires from the physical body, one just simply change form - from matter to spirit. From earthly realm to the spiritual. And we are on the same plane, just change of being, change of mindset. More than ever before, and this has not changed, is I feel my son's presence and know that he is always in our midst - guiding, nudging, prodding, caring and loving. And having conversations with me.

From this day on, I shall name August 9th day as Jon's Continuum Day.

I would like to thank Neale for giving us 'Home with God' and 'Happier than God' tools which has greatly helped in my journey, not forgetting the CWG collection.

Finally, I have also decided to discontinue with our website and keep this blog to keep the channels open to reach out to other mums. And Ling is in the midst of setting up FaceBook as well.

For all the mums like me, may you one day find peace in the knowing that our children have not left us but are in our midst, beside us. Always.

God bless.

Jon's 3rd Memorial

It's been three years since Jon left for the great gig in the sky. And still I say, not one day passes by that we don't feel him or think about him or see things that remind us of him. I say that in my 2009 Memorial speech, because as a human being in this world, I want to be remembered and I want for my loved ones not to forget me, as such I strive to do in my lifetime, things that people (let alone my loved ones) will remember me by. Being forgotten means being insignificant, being unloved, unwanted. For now, as a living being I shall hold on to that belief and keep remembering my son. It is not difficult to remember Jon, in fact it's impossible to forget as he is woven into all of us, his family. I see him sometimes as I gaze at Zane or Summer, I see him everytime I see a Boy Scout, a footballer, a scholar, a gentleman, a young man of 19 setting out to start his journey in this world, anyone in a wheelchair, a cane, a cancer patient or simply any brave person.

How can I forget you Jon?



P/s Thank you Chyen for being with us.