Commemorative Events

It's been said that whatever is done for the dead is done for the living. I hold true to this because no matter what we do is not going to make any difference for the person who is already on a new journey of liberation, freedom and creation.

So Jon's birthday and 1st Year Cross Over Anniversary, is coming up. 14 days apart from each other. Thursdays. He is a Thursday child..has far to go...

Could we do them weekends? Why? So everyone could stay longer without having to think about school or work the next day. Sounds reasonable, practical, make sense, etc. etc. etc.

Of the two, I would consider doing the birthday over a weekend, not the other. 9th was his chosen date and it would be more meaningful commemorating that date and hour, no matter what day. Any other day would be meaningless. But his birthday is also one which he had from day on. So..

Thursday, they will be.

The next question is, who shall we invite?

Birthday will be a family affair.

On 9th August, the 'Jon's friends' list was priority to me. So I got on the phone with some anxiousness, some hesitation - would they come? Would they remember Jon?

I was encouraged with the initial responses. And to get his friends was to get a guy to round up that side and a girl, the other. K.A. and Khalida were enrolled. They agreed. I was touched.

They asked "What is the number, Auntie? Jon has many friends."

I suggested some form of management control..
"Those that Jon hangs out alot with?"
"How about those that know him well, and that has made a difference to Jon, and he to them?"
"His best friends?"

Each time, they were hesitant because I suspect the suggestions does not really help but they very politely said 'OK?' as I ran out of ideas. I believe they did too. As I put down the phone with the promise that I would confirm this with Peter, I realise that it is almost impossible to say a number. It was simply because Jon had many friends. Now when you go through the eulogy book, signed by the busload of students, the ones who ponteng school to be at the wake and those came on their own, you'd find that Jon had many 'best' friends.

Without flinching, hesitating, Peter said, 'No limit'.

Sighs of relief were how both of them responded. K.A. even suggested 'should we make an announcement in school?'

I reminded them that it would be Thursday, some symbolic ritual will happen at 10.30pm, closing at 10.45pm.

•moment of silence.
•offer of thanksgiving prayer
•releasing of 17 birds
•lighting of candles

Next Friday to get back on the numbers.

More to follow...